don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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