If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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