So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
