she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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