After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
