I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
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