David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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