i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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