ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize