It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can