Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?