3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
one two three fourrrrnication!
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
no you cant smoke seaweed
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony