Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize