Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
