Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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