cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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