Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
