Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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