sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
