I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
