Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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