I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
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Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
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Use "feeling words"
Yay
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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