Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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