I am spending my child support on dildos
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
