So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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