i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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