I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
