i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
