11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
