Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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