dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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