So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
