I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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