Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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