big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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