My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
