Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
