just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
