I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize