I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
