thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
