is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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