i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
