Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
