He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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