As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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