somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
