I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
