I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
