Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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