i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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