I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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