A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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