omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
