Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
