Will you blow on my dice?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
