I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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