I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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