My first STD was from a foam party
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
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