1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
